Boston, Massachusetts–In response to concerns from Pioneer Valley residents, the Baker administration today announced that it would seek to balance the state’s Quabbin Island rattlesnake relocation plan by simultaneously introducing a mongoose population to the state reservation.
In theory, state officials say, the two adversarial populations will keep each other in check. The ratio of snakes to mongooses will be fine-tuned over several months following their establishment on “rattlesnake island.”
The plan is the product of nearly a year of deliberation by state lawmakers and highly-paid consulting firms. “A lot of thought went into this,” according to Deputy Director of Wildlife Arthur Gutierrez, “there have been many late nights. Some of us haven’t seen our families in weeks. But our sacrifice paid off, with a cost-effective solution that may actually appease the people of western Massachusetts.”
If approved by lawmakers and the public, the Baker administration will immediately commence what is projected to be “the largest government mongoose purchase in decades.”