Amherst, Massachusetts—Today the Toyota Motor Corporation announced that it had completed work on the prototype for an innovative mobile safe-space. The device, which is worn over the head, promises to protect the user from nearly all forms of verbal and visual discomfort. It works by scanning for potentially offensive material. If any are detected, the device substitutes an alternative word or image from a list pre-approved by Mother Jones magazine.
For example, a device user who comes into contact with the phrase “you’re a bit chunky to be wearing that blouse” will hear the translation: “that top was probably designed by a male body.” Toyota hopes to begin testing the device on the campus of UMASS Amherst in time for Halloween. A statement from Toyota CTO Satoshi Yakamoto reveals the company’s motivation behind the mobile safe-space:
“Today’s students demand a level of safety that schools are struggling to meet. There has been a strong effort from administrators to provide spaces devoid of even slightly disconcerting material. Currently, however, there is no solution in place for objectionable material that students might encounter outside of these controlled environments. We plan to change that.”
While initial testing has generally yielded encouraging results, there have been a few setbacks; the devices are prone to overheating when operating at a high level for an extended duration. Toyota is reporting that at least two engineers were badly burned at a testing site during the third presidential debate when the Republican candidate uttered the phrase “bad hombres.”
There is speculation that Toyota plans to begin work on a modular “mansplaining adapter,” said to mitigate the visual and verbal effrontery that so often accompanies dialogue with males on campus. If the development phase goes smoothly, it may hit markets just in time for the Holidays.