Longmeadow, MA–Upon returning home for Thanksgiving, Timothy Wagner, UC Berkeley class of 2020, exhibited evidence of a personal evolution that stunned both friends and family.
Onlookers reported feeling a sense of awe at the degree to which Mr. Wagner’s tastes and habits had changed over the 87 days since he departed for college. They cited as examples both his newfound proficiency with the acoustic guitar and his appreciation for the finer points of Marxism. “He’s like a totally different person,” mused Mr. Wagner’s mother, Alberta. “He’s really grown into himself.”
Mr. Wagner released a statement attributing his remarkable development to a combination of “radical” experiences, as well as a series of eye-opening lectures by his sociology professor. However, he acknowledges that he owes much of his newfound outlook to an eclectic group of friends from his dormitory: the “smartest people he’s ever met.”
In other developments, Mr. Wagner turned heads at dinner with an unorthodox request for a [craft] beer, despite being under the legal drinking age. As of press time there was no word on whether the request had been granted.