Satire and Commentary from Around the World
Officials Suggest Limiting Stops to Subarus; Connecticut Plates Northampton, Massachusetts “As a white person I know it’s important to examine institutionalized racism and its relation to wealth and identity, but in all honesty I’m late picking up the kids at charter school,” complained Hadley resident Willow Schnell, “I’m a huge supporter of Black Lives Matter, […]
Springfield, Massachusetts Next week the Pioneer Valley will see the most anxiously anticipated IPO since last year, when Take Magazine ‘took’ the Springfield Stock Exchange by storm, sending daily trading to over $768 and lining the pockets of local investors. Now, after blowing away analysts’ earnings expectations yet again, Northampton’s Pedal People Cooperative is finally […]
Amherst, Massachusetts Hampshire College students, long known for their political and social activism, are at it again. Returning to campus in serious drought conditions, an ad hoc group of earnest enviros launched the BATH BAN PLEDGE, which has since been signed by over 97% of students. Pledge participants agree to forego showers, baths, and other […]
Northampton, Massachusetts The Northampton Arts Council voted unanimously to commission an update to the iconic Masonic Street mural in the event of a Hillary Clinton victory. The mural, known for its dour and earnest female representations, was completed in 1980 and restored in 2003. It is widely considered due for a refresh. Tofu Curtain attained exclusive […]
Chicopee, Massachusetts “I’ve been to the Big E every year for the last thirty-two years and let me tell you,” Chicopee resident James Puwalski mansplained to Tofu Curtain, “you’ve got to show up ready. You’ve got to get a Franklin County, a Cummington, maybe a Three County under your belt before Agawam. Trust me. Lay down […]
Hiring Practices Deemed ‘Cruel, Unusual’ Northampton, Massachusetts In a rather ironic turn of events, the U.N. decided to investigate the “enhanced vetting process” now employed by the City as it attempts to fill several vacancies on its volunteer-staffed Human Rights Commission. The investigation was launched after the local newspaper conducted a particularly exacting social media […]
Amherst, Massachusetts Audience members gave the Amherst selectboard a standing ovation when they unveiled their plans for a new town history at last week’s meeting. “I think it’s time for a new, more progressive history,” said Donna Eriksson, an alderwoman from South Amherst. “At first, we only wanted to change the town’s name. But once […]
